A letter to the dumb bitch.....

You pissed me off today.....I am really getting sick and fucking tired of your off-handed comments about my going to college....I think you think I am being selfish......you said to me today "just remember 11 yr old is getting to the age that she really needs you at home"..............you are a fucking dumbass......you act as though I am going to be gone 7 fucking days a week....first off, the night classes only run Monday through Thursday.......and I will only be taking 2 classes per semester and 2 in the summer because that is all I can afford to go, hence the six years to finish........Oh, I guess you think it would be better for me to work overtime for the rest of my fucking life to cover all of bills....like I'm not gone from home now to do that.....no, no that would be better than going to college in your opinion.....hello you fucking moron, my kids are the main reason I want to go back to college....it does me a lot of good to be at home when i am fucking depressed because there is not enough money for my kids to even have friends over at times because we can't afford to feed all of them.....do you really think I want to be gone from home any more than I have to be....sometimes you have to make sacrifices...and my kids know that I will ALWAYS be there for them if they need me..........what should I expect from you though, you did not even graduate from high school and you were married at 16..........but you in all of your 42 years of wisdom know so much more about what is best for me and my family............(as a disclaimer, I am not putting down anyone that has not graduated from high school or anyone that has a GED, my hubby has a GED but at least he has the common sense to know what a person needs to do to make a better life for themselves, even if he can't or won't do it himself)...anyway, FUCK YOU....you make me wonder why I even have friends, all they seem to do lately is piss me off.

Meeting time

Well, I made an appointment for this Thursday evening to go and speak with a student advisor about enrolling is classes starting this summer. I am soooo excited. I like to learn new things and be challenged. The prospect of having a career versus a job is still a little beyond what I can grasp at this point. I know it will make a better life for my family...even if it means that I won't be home as much. One of the things that I am surprised about is the reactions of some people when I tell them that I am going to go back to school. My family is all very supportive, however some of my friends (or I guess I should say so-called friends) have not been near as positive and supportive. It not so much that they say "that's stupid" but more that subtle you're going to college? Okay so I am a little older than the average freshmen, and yes it will take me about 6 years to finally earn my Bachelor's degree. But in my opinion it will be sooo worth it in the end. I think some people just don't want anyone to do (or get anything for that matter) that they can't or won't do themselves. I say fuck you all.
Also, I can't wait until the day when I finally get my degree and then I can call my birth mother and tell her, "Look here, I did it! And I didn't have to get rid of my kids to do so, not that I would ever give up my kids, you would have to kill me first......(you see, if you have been reading my blog, then you would know that my birth mother gave my sister and I up for adoption when I was 2 and my sister was 3. She said it was because she couldn't take care of us anymore. However, the more that I am learning about my birth family from various family member's, the more I think that she just didn't want to be bothered with us anymore.....after all within 3 months of her getting rid of us, she was enrolled full-time in a major local college and married. My youngest older brother came about 3 years later. Amazing isn't it, you couldn't do those things with us but you could with them. I say Fuck you too!
Any how there are many reasons that I want to go back to school, most of them have to do with making a better life for myself and my family but I can't lie and say that I don't want to be able to gloat a little.....but only to certain people.

New plans

I think I am going though a mid-life crisis of sorts lately. I have been rather unsettled. Some might say that it is just the extreme cold lately and it is just cabin fever.......that's not it. About a week ago, my employer held plant-wide meetings to tell us that they need to cut our department down by approximately 200 people within the next two years. I should still be okay as far as getting laid off or anything. However, this has got me thinking. Do I really want to do the going nowhere, topped out, boring freakin pud job that I am doing now for the rest of my life anyway? I have come the the conclusion that that answer is no, I don't. So now I must look at my options, and I have decided that I want to go back to school. College that is. My employer will pay for it, at least $3,500 of it anyway, and they will reimburse me 50% on my books. So why not. I am thinking Computer Science. Yes, I want to be a computer nerd. I figure I enjoy farting around on a computer so what better job than one where I actually get to do something I enjoy. Not to mention it would be great to make a little more money. Who doesn't want more money thought. Hubby said he will support me. So I am going to do it. I may be 40 fucking years old by the time I graduate but what the hell.