I am a dishrag

I have been thinking lately about some of my relationships with those in my inner circle..friends, family, co-workers etc.....I have come to the conclusion that I have a tendency to be a dishrag so to speak for those around me....I know that I have members of my inner circle that most people by now would have axed....I think my parents (adopted ones) have done this to me...my mother is not motherly and my father is not fatherly...oh they pretend they are when I go and visit them...they will say they love me and they worry about me but yet they don't show it.....when hubby and I got married, I never even heard congratulations...no card, no gift, nothing..when I gave birth to my daughter, there was no celebration, no baby shower or anything, because hubby and I were not yet married my parents viewed it as an embarrassment even though we had been together for several years at the time...Dad did not even come to the hospital to see the baby...in fact my daughter was nearly two months old before he ever even saw her, then it was only because I went to their house and actually caught him when he was home...he was not even going to hold her until my little sister literally took the baby and placed her in his arms.....my children do not ever go and spend the night with my parents...youngest one calls my mom her mean grandma.....my parents rarely call, maybe once every couple of months and they come to my house next to never...if I want to see them, I have to go there...we have a love-hate relationship....I hate that I love them...hubby gets aggravated with me because he thinks I never say anything to them... I do....like when they ask why I have not been down for a while I always tell them "you know those roads go both ways," or I tell them that they could call or come by once in a while...but do they ever...noooo....It always falls on deaf ears...so anymore I just keep my mouth shut and I try to go down and visit ever now and then because I know if I don't I would not see them at all.....my relationships with my friends seem to pan out in this same manner...we get along just fine when we are together, however they never seem to have time to come and visit me...I do have a girlfriend from work that will call and check on me if she know I have something going on or she has not heard from me for awhile....she is cool.... but the rest of them.....maybe I am old fashioned but I think we make the time for the things that are important to us and where you spend your time at says alot about what is important to you....but do I ever say this to those in my inner circle...nooo...I think after feeling so let down by my parents, I have come to expect it....I may have built up a tiny wall too, which makes it hard for the new people I encounter to get close to me...I know this is something I must overcome and I am working on it....hubby helps.....my children help....but for now....I am a dishrag